random thoughts

Here are some thoughts of mine from my journal. There isn't a true rhyme or rhythm to them, but it's what I have to offer from my experience at this time along the journey.

"Pray all the time. It will help in times of trouble."

Notice that it doesn't say "pray in times of trouble; it will help."
Our worldly spin on faith is often that it is something important we can rely on when things get tough. Although many sermons are preached on praying and groups devoted to collective prayer, hu,ans still seem quite confused in the matter of prayer. For me, prayer has always been a task, drudgery really. Because even though I know I'm supposed to practice continually, I do not. I don't feel confident in my ability to pray. I know intellectually, that it is not a task to be mastered, but an attempt that will be constantly reformed. When I lack self-confidence I tend to avoid doing what I think I should be able to do. Procrastination is my worst enemy. I give in to it on a daily basis and miss out on so many opportunities!
I've recently been studying the Enneagram personality types. Learning about my personality is helpful because knowing that I'm not alone, that others understand and share in my struggles is comforting. Surrounding myself with friends and people who are confident in my abilities and who push me to use my talents is so essential to my growth! Sally, my fellow Atlanta YAV is a great person for that because she believes in me and pushes me in many situations to be active toward my success. I hope I can be a similar force for her and others, in whom I see enormous potential.
Journaling is very therapeutic-it allows me to process things without having to rely on another person to be available to listen. I feel good about realizations I've come to while writing. And sometimes I really surprise myself with thoughts, reflections, or ideas that come out of this spiritual practice.